chamz stories

One’s happiness in relation to one’s self value is unique to everyone else. There are loads of reasons to feel happy about. It could be that you’ve finally graduated from school, earning on your own, or maybe have been able to enjoy the things you’ve so long been yearning for. But as the common notion goes, most of the time, the deemed acceptance, praises, and nonessential opinions of the people surrounding you seemed to be the most fitting source of happiness when it shouldn’t be the case. Isn’t it?

Although, there will be times when we need to hear what other people have to say, the mere feelings of self-empowerment should always come from yourself. Others will always have something to say no matter what, so make sure not to get lost in them. If you can’t tell them to back up especially because it’s a family member or someone close to you, learn to hear them but don’t actually listen to them. Respect their opinion though. But learn to set a boundary for your own self’s guard. After all, it’s what you allow that could make or break your being. Sometimes learning to disagree with what others have to say is inevitable; thus, accept only those that would lift your being and take those that don’t constructively.

So how do you know if you are with the wrong group of people? Here are five tale signs that you may be hanging out with the wrong group of people.

1. They demean your worth.

If there’s one person who knows your value as an individual, it’s you. Don’t let anyone’s negative opinions get into your system. It won’t do you any good; thus, only decreases your self-esteem. Everyone’s unique and is bound for greatness. Know where you stand. Greatness does not always have to be big and extravagant. Once you know worth and respect it yourself, whatever destructive comments you receive will only turn beneficial for you.

2. They destroy your image behind your back.

Sometimes, the most hurtful fact about hearing what others have to say is that knowing that it has been said behind your back. You don’t have a hold on that, so just let it be. Fact to be reiterated, mouths could just be cunning and deceitful. Moreover, these mouths could even belong to the persons whom you trust the most. Always remind yourself of that fact, so you can limit yourself on what to share and what to keep only to yourself. Granting that you’d be affected, don’t give one the satisfaction of totally destroying your well-being. Be nice and stay as one. You can never be destroyed unless you walk their talk. Hence, walk your own talk anyway.

3. They don’t acknowledge your opinions.

To be heard could eradicate resentment or withdrawal. In one way or another, the importance of being listened to is essential to anyone’s existence. At times if you’re not recognized for your opinion is tantamount to not being acknowledged as an individual with substance. Don’t worry though. Always remember that you matter. If not for a one or a certain group of people, then for others who may not be part of your circle but are constantly aware of your existence, inspired and are looking up to you. Be consoled by the fact that the world is composed of seven billion other people whom you have not met yet. They are out there waiting for you to let them acknowledge you for your ideas and views. Respect other’s disapproval and be open to meet new people anyway.

4. They don’t believe in what you can do.

If they don’t believe on what you can do then don’t believe in them too. You must not have succeeded in their eyes yet for them to belittle or openly disdain the things they thought you can’t do. It’s you who knows yourself better than others; thus, strengthen that. Successes and achievements do not have to be huge to be known. They don’t have to be those that are commonly listed or defined in other people’s mind. What’s important is that you’re confident and that you believe in yourself. You could certainly give the highest award there is to yourself if you do.

5. They always dwell on negativity.

Clearly, one can’t stay positive under destructive and undesirable circumstances. Sometimes you tend to explode if not ending up joining them in these instances. But remember that you can always have the choice to leave if the conversations are not healthy anymore. You may not be able to control the things your people are dwelling on, but you can always decide not to join them especially if your values are affected. After all, you always have the freedom to choose whom you want to walk with and whom to leave behind.


The most common solution to hanging out with the wrong group of people is to begin building harmonious relationship to the right ones. Don’t get wrong, I don’t suggest cutting ties with your spouse or your family members, but if they don’t do you any good, then you can always choose to openly raise and point out your side or leave. But there can’t actually be right or wrong people. What seems to be wrong for you may even be right for them and vice versa. Sometimes, it’s a matter of proper communication too and meeting halfway. Leaving could still be an option but let it be your last resort. Always opt for saving relationships, nurturing and growing one than actually breaking one. It will always be nice to go around the park smiling to everyone than get cautious every time you think you’d see one you’ve broken connections with.

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