Imagined Connections Imagined Celebrity Connections: How Beyoncé Responded to Kim Kardashian’s Paper Magazine Cover.

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Each week, Josh Duboff looks at the biggest celebrity news—and amuses himself by imagining how those celebrities might have reacted.

Kim Kardashian appears in a much, much discussed nude spread for Paper magazine.

Jay Z enters the kitchen with a large poster-size box. Beyoncé eyes the box, as she takes a peach out of the fridge. “What is that?”

“What do you think? Kanye had it sent over.”

“It’s not—wait—”

Jay Z tears open the box and pulls out a poster-size print of Kim’s Paper magazine cover.

“Well, at least it’s the champagne one,” Jay says, with a smile. “And not the—”

“Yes, we all know what the other one wa—” They see that behind the champagne cover print, in the package, is the other cover.

“Never mind,” Jay says. “I guess I should text him ‘thanks,’ right? Like, how do you craft that text? ‘Thanks for the print of your nude wife? It’ll look awesome next to my Sub-Zero.’”

“Oh, c’mon, that’s like the 15th most weird thing about all of this. And you think I’m letting you put this next to our Sub-Zero?!”

“Hon, you’re really eating a peach right now? While looking at this?!” He shoves the butt cover in Beyoncé’s face. “Really?”

Beyoncé shudders, tossing the half-eaten peach on the floor. “Oh my God, get it out of my face,” she says, and they both start giggling as she swats the print away.

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